Smack Me With A Mallet One More Time, I BEG You

So, yeah. I'm an 80's gal. I was born in 1970, which put me in prime position for The 80's. As I mentioned, my favorite rock band of all time is U2. Relevant then, uber-relevant now. All is well Where the Streets Have No Name.

Then, there was a gas shortage and a Flock of Seagulls.

I admit, I laugh hysterically during Hit Me Baby, One More Time. Primarily because I'm laughing AT the performers, not WITH them. Aaaannnnd, most of them are not laughing. Most of them are deadly serious, like the morose and glassy-eyed lead singer of Missing Persons. Missing, indeed. She's not missing, she's downright Six Feet Under.

However, the part that was side-splittingly funny, the part that had me doubled over, in pain, laughing until tears fell into my Hood Boston Red Sox Peanut Butter Nation ice cream, was watching the guy from Animotion dance. He was doing this, like, sideways Chuck Berry, Axel Rose, dancing midget from Twin Peaks hybrid thing, and it wasn't pretty. You're a graphic artist now? Really? And your grown sons are in a band? Did they take dance lessons from you? More importantly, did they change their names?

The good news is, Animotion is still together and performing July 30th at the 30th annual CALIFORNIA HARLEY SUMMER BLAST! See you there, dude!

Still, for every Animotion freaky Missing Persons Flock of Seagulls LOVERBOY performance (oh my God, I nearly wet myself watching Loverboy a few weeks ago), there were some really stand-out performances by Arrested Development, Howard Jones, and yes, even Billy Vera was dead-on. However, not every band has the longevity of U2, or, despite the fact that I don't dig them, the Rolling Stones. And can you imagine if every band did? The world would be lousy with one-hit wonders, trying to play the big stadiums, when they should be playing at the July 4th Taste of Your Hometown Annual Picnic. We'd be rockin' out to Soft Cell singing Tainted Love in our wheelchairs (not to mention, theirs), live and in person.

I was a real music freak in the 80's (you had to be, didn't you?) and loved all the standards: REM, 10,000 Maniacs, Abba, and, of course, the boys from Dublin, just to name a few. I have the cassettes to prove it. I love the flashback radio hour, I know all the words, and I did jump on stage with George Michael in 1987 (pre-restroom incident). The song 1985 was, in fact, written about me. (However, my husband's not a CPA, he's in Finance. Big distinction.)

I tend to think, though, if you're meant to still be making music, you'd still, in fact, be making music. It was a trip to see these former stars trotted out to relive the Glory Days, but that's why they're called Glory Days. If they weren't in the past, they'd be called Every Days. Today, in fact. There are a number of great performers that are still in the business of entertaining for a reason. The main reason being that they aren't wearing a codpiece over their Depends, and Real Estate is not their primary source of income.

Still, though. It was pretty amusing to see Tiffany whooping it up in her strappy caftan. It's a step up from the mall.

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