7.27.2006

Say It Isn't So-ooo-oh-ooo.

Psssssssst. Come Closer. I have something to tell you, but I have to whisper.

Lance Bass is gay.

But you didn't hear it from me.

As Michael Stipe once said, "I didn't think I needed to come out of the closet. I thought it was perfectly obvious."

Or words to that effect.

Did you know Ellen Degeneres is also gay? Hm.

Can I have "Painfully Obvious Truisms" for $800, Alex?

Can I also have "People We Don't Really Care Are Gay Because It's Their Own Business" for $500, Alex?

And finally, can I have, "Who The Hell Is Lance Bass anyway, Oh, Wait, He Was In One Of Those Boy Bands Or Something, Right?" for $1000, Alex?

*sigh*

What celebrities will resort to when they're no longer in the news. Next thing you know, Star Jones will come out of the closet.

You heard it here first.

2 comments:

donna said...

First Star Jones needs to do something about her now ridiculously oversized head. I mean, good for her for losing weight, but has no one told her that her head now looks like an orange on a toothpick?

Marcia said...

WAIT WAIT WAIT.

I so don't believe you.

Next you're going to tell me that Rosie O'Donnell is a lesbian.