Hello? *tap tap tap* Is this thing on? *testing 1 2 3...sibilance...sibilance...*
Thank you all (both) for coming today. First I'd like to start off by saying how delighted I am that you're all (both) here! I realize it's been a long time and you've wondered if I've fallen off the face of the earth, ha ha, but really, my plate's just been full, I've been burning the candle at both ends, been trying to go the extra mile, and unfortunately, I've been unable to see the forest for the trees.
Why yes, I was formerly a speechwriter for George Bush, why do you ask?
In short, I have been quite busy. My son's all, y'know, headed to college, and stuff. Okay, kindergarten. It feels like college though. If college were four hours long a day, you took a yellow bus to get there, you talked about watermelons and drew squiggly lines and your mommy had to pack a snack for you, this would be college. (Actually, it doesn't sound totally unlike my college experience...if you added Mind-Eraser shots to that, you'd have Guwi, circa 1988. Complete with taking naps at 3:00 every day. Oh, and 11:00. And 1:00. And big hair.)
So yes, he's all growed up. I've been composing the ultimate post in my head to commemorate his first day. The perfect combination of laughter, tears, with a hint of nutmeg--I even started working on a video short to tie it all together. Then I thought, "Oh, right. I'm a procrastinator. Why on earth am I doing this on the first day of school?" (I truly started it while he was at school, and it basically ended up being me, in front of the computer, bawling over video of my boy for the last 5 1/2 years. Because he is so stinkin' cute. Then I was exhausted and had to muster up some smileage to greet him on the bus so he wouldn't think I was home crying about him all morning.)
Then I had to go and launch my little website, so really what I've been doing is sitting back, counting my tens of millions. Okay, tens. But still. There's a lot going on in the Casa de Guwi, and much as I'd like to write and amuse you all with clever anecdotes, the world of fashion is calling. And Fashion speaks French, so I need a translator. Also, I'm really lazy. But when I come up with a clever anecdote, I promise I'll write it all down for your reading pleasure.
Right after I finish my coffee and make some stinkin' handbags. But really, I miss you too.