It's a good thing she's got those soft ears

Why is it that my dog won't eat the kibble that falls on the floor when I'm feeding her? I've seen what you eat, mutt, and trust me: that kibble that's been tainted by *ew! Floor germs!* is sterile as an unopened bag of cotton balls compared to the list of things you've put in your mouth. (Which, incidentally, does include an unopened bag of cotton balls.)

I don't need to be specific. Dog owners will understand. Non-dog owners, well...there's really no reason you need know details. You're better off. Here, Jules will explain. (Warning: Jules explains in a very colorful, NSFW kinda way. But he does have a point. Just not a point you'd want to make to your children or grandmother.)